If you’re wanting to figure out how to be more attractive to women, the first thing to come to terms with is what makes a person attractive. As men we often consider attractiveness and good looks to be the same thing. This isn’t necessarily the case for women.
There is a lot of information online for men about how to make themselves more attractive to women but many of these lump women into one big general category of people. Not all women will find the same things attractive, as the saying goes ‘you can’t please all the people.’
It’s a really important concept to understand, that no matter what you do you won’t appeal to everyone. There’s no point in trying to. Time is much better spent in figuring out what types of women DO find you attractive.
A woman will decide if she is attracted to you or not before you even open your mouth. Women are attracted to men on a subconscious level, at least at first meeting anyway. I’m sure you’ve got female friends that can’t exactly explain why the are with the particular men in their lives.
So, if you can’t attract every single women and attraction is happening at a subconscious and psychological level, how do you become more attractive to women?
The truth is that trying to find the right things to say or do to appear more attractive isn’t going to help a whole lot. It’s who you are and what you stand for that will make you more attractive to women. Here’s 5 areas of your life to get under control to turn up your own attraction dial.
How to be More Attractive to Women in 7 Steps
Confidence is sexy. Being self-assured broadcasts to the world that you’re happy with who you are and happy with the life that you live. Happy people are attractive, simple.
Many guys can misunderstand confidence and confuse it with conceitedness, arrogance or cockiness. A confident guy doesn’t need the approval of others, he’s cool with how things are. Arrogance and conceit often serve to cover up personal insecurities and these are usually turn-offs for women as the see straight through them.
Be a Man of Mystery
Why is a little mystery attractive? It goes hand in hand with being confident and self assured. A man that has nothing to prove doesn’t need to tell everyone what their achievements are or what they’ve been up to.
When a woman feels there’s more to you that is interesting than what she first sees it will leave her wanting to know more about you.
Have Pride in Your Appearance
Taking pride in the way you present yourself goes a long way with women. You can’t do much about the looks you were born with but you can do a whole lot about that way you package it.
Pay attention to the current fashions, dress well. Women love a sharp dressed man. Get your hair cut, buy some new cologne and always pay close attention to your own personal hygiene. Present yourself as a man of high value if you want women to believe that that’s what you actually are.
Social proof effects the way we perceive things in the real world. If a restaurant is busy, the food must be good. If the restaurant next door is empty we best not risk eating there. Likewise, if you’re sitting in a bar by yourself there must be something wrong with you but if you’re surrounded by friends you must be cool and likable.
One of the best things you can do to be more attractive to women is have female friends. Forget going out with a ‘wing man,’ where ever you can go out with a wing woman. When women see you hanging out with other attractive women it makes you irresistible. It’s social proof that you’re a cool guy.
Hold a conversation (be charming)
We make a big deal about women’s first impressions of a guy leading to attraction and the non verbal ques a guy has to be aware of. That’s all well and good but if you can’t follow that up when the time come to actually open your mouth and speak, it’s all for nothing.
I know this from experience. When I first started to learn how to make myself more attractive with women, I got to a point that I could have women approach me because of my body language and the way that I carried myself. When it came time for me to hold a conversation I had nothing to say, became nervous and generally just in-congruent with the image I was portraying. Needless to say I ended up striking out even when the woman approached me first.
Ask a woman questions that show that you’re interested in who she is (don’t interview or interrogate) and give her 100% of your attention to listen to her answers.
Have a Story to Tell
When it’s your time to talk, have a story to tell. We all have funny and interesting anecdotes from stories in our lives. Share them, it shows that you’ve lived, are interested and interesting. When making conversation with a woman, you can ask her questions and have your own story in mind that you can share as a follow up to that question. Only after you’ve taken the time to listen to her of course.
Have a Passion
Too many guys approach women as if it’s the most important thing going on in their life. That the acceptance of a woman is the make or break for them. In cultivating attraction it’s important to have a real passion in your life, something that’s bigger than you.
Women love a man who is enthusiastic and passionate about a cause. It makes you interesting. It can be anything from doing volunteer work in your community, a hobby or pursuit such as skydiving, scuba or surfing. In fact it’s anything that gives your life a greater meaning.
Having a greater purpose makes you interesting, it gives you things to talk about and greater life experience to come up with even more of those wonderful little anecdotes.
As you can see, learning how to be more attractive to women is less about strategies you can use to trick or convince a woman that you’re worthwhile and more about having your own life together. If you focus your energy on what is important and fulfilling for you, you don’t just become more attractive to women but you start leading a much happier life in the process.