How to Get a Girlfriend with the Right Mindset

How do I get a girlfriend is probably the oldest question asked by single guys everywhere. The truth is that finding a girlfriend is not as complicated or mysterious as you might think. It is possible to attract women to you and have them do all the hard work.

Knowing how to get a girlfriend is all in the way you approach it.

The answers to getting a girlfriend exist in your own mindset. It’s your own attitude and the way you approach meeting new people (and women) that determines how much or how little success you have.

Develop the right mindset and it doesn’t matter how old, fat, broke or ugly you are. Women will notice you and they will approach you.

If you are serious about getting a girlfriend and want a full-blown, step by step blueprint to success, you should check out our review of the Girlfriend Activation System which is a recorded video series of a two day seminar covering this exact process.

Do you really want a girlfriend?

It may sound like a silly question but it’s one you really need to consider. I can tell you that this is a mistake I made many times in the past. Girls that became my girlfriends were actually much better suited to being friends to hang out with or friends with benefits than they were at being a girlfriend. It wasn’t their fault though, I was the one that wasn’t being honest with them or myself about what I truly wanted.

How To Get A Girlfriend The Right Way

The following advice can be applied to casual dating as well as it can be applied to getting a girlfriend. The difference is in the expectations you create in a woman as well as the expectations you place on yourself.

If you want one-nighters, own it and be honest about it. If you want a long-term relationship, be honest about that too. One of the most important aspects about being successful with women is to be authentic about what it is you want. And, who it is you are. You break down a lot of barriers between yourself and the girl you’re interested in, if she knows from the outset what it is she’s signing up for.

Be Authentic

girlfriend activation system bannerAuthenticity is the single most important quality of a real man, the alpha male. It’s a quality that you see displayed by those guys that we consider naturals with women. In every aspect of women and dating that we talk about, to be authentic is at the core. Authenticity will get you laid, it will get you a girlfriend and it will make your mom very proud.

Authenticity isn’t something that you have. It’s something that you are. You don’t really learn to become authentic, instead you can learn to stop doing those things that prevent you from being your true self. You can’t act authentic and as soon as you try you stop being authentic.

By being authentic what we’re really saying is to be your true self. This might sound like some deep, hippy BS to some. But, if you think about it for a minute and think about your interactions with women, you’ll see how far from authentic we really are most of the time.

It’s not easy to just be yourself. As bizarre as it sounds, it doesn’t come all that naturally to us humans. Think about all the things that we do to try and manipulate other people’s opinion of us. The car we drive, the clothes we wear, tattoos or not, your hairstyle etc, etc. These are all things that we do to create an image of ourselves for the sake of other people.

Authenticity is when you can let go of this stuff. When you can get to a point in your life where you don’t give a shit what other people think about you. You’re cool. You try to improve on the things that you can change, you accept those that you can’t. There’s no reason for you to lie or talk yourself up because you’re comfortable with where you are at.

Get this stuff down and it will change your life. You hear all the seduction gurus talk about self confidence and being an alpha male. This is what they’re really talking about.

Make Friends

If you want to know how to get a girlfriend, the first thing to understand is: stop trying to find a girlfriend. Instead, make it your mission in life to make new friends. If your new friends happened to be hot women, so be it.

There’s two important aspects to developing this mindset. On one hand the easiest way to meet a new girlfriend is to be introduced to her by a mutual friend. Of all couples, about 40% of them were first introduced to each other by a friend. That’s the same amount of couples as those that first met when one them introduced themselves to the other. Never under estimate the power of your own social network and never consider it complete. You can always have more friends.

The other side of taking a ‘friendship’ approach to life is that it automatically makes you stand out from all the other single (straight) guys. Attractive women have guys hitting on them all the time. They have developed such great bullshit detectors because they’re used to guys trying to get something from them. If you’re only being friendly and you are actually being authentic about it, women will notice you from across the room. They seem to actually be able to sense it from a distance and it attracts them like crazy.

If you meet a girl with the intention of deciding whether you could be friends with her or not she’ll wonder why you aren’t sexually attracted to her. She’s expects that you’ll want to get inside her pants and when you don’t she’ll be disappointed. You become a challenge for her.

An important note about making friends with hot girls, never have a crush. Don’t develop a crush on any particular girl that you don’t yet know or are just friends with. A crush will kill you. Never crush on a girl. Ever.


The Video above is Jason Capital explaining the 2 key secrets to make women attracted to you.

Be a Challenge

Do you ever pay attention to how other guys try to pick up girls in bars or clubs or anywhere else for that matter? If you don’t, you should. You will see guy after guy approach the most attractive women and then in most cases they get shot down almost immediately.

It doesn’t matter how good looking a guy is or how much money they have, if they are giving a woman all their attention it makes a big statement. It says that they value the woman as being of a higher status then they are. A great looking or rich guy might get a few lays on that basis but they rarely end up with a quality girlfriend because of it.

Women don’t want to be with someone that is of lower status than they are, they want someone to look up to. If you want to attract women to you, you have to demonstrate to her that you are a high value man. The most impactful way to do this is to limit the amount of attention you give her.

If you don’t give a woman as much attention as she expects or wants, you’re subconsciously telling her that you have other options. You don’t need her and your life is fine without her. It becomes a challenge for her to get more of your attention. This is exactly the position you want to be in stud.

If she wants your attention she has to earn it.

Adopting this mindset of authenticity, friendliness and of being a challenge is the single most important thing you can do and is the answer to how to get a girlfriend. It takes some practice and some trial and error. But, you WILL start to see results as soon as you start applying it, no matter who you are.

There are a number of online training programs that will make you a master of this mind-set and if you can justify the $60-$70 to change your life, you’d be stupid not to. Below are the courses that we recommend.

The Girlfriend Activation System. As the name applies, it’s a complete system to getting a girlfriend and becoming the type of guy that girls want to go out with. Highly recommended. View Video HERE.