It’s no secret that one of the biggest turn-ons for women is a confident guy. Before we go on, please don’t mistake confidence with arrogance. By confident we’re talking self-assured, a man that’s happy with his place in the world and couldn’t care less about what you think of it. A James Bond, A Dirty Harry hell, even a Captain Jack Sparrow. This guy makes no apologies, he’s The Fonz.
Ok, so we all know this right? But how do you go about building confidence if it’s not coming naturally to you? You can’t fake confidence but you can acquire it with a bit of practice.
If you feel you lack confidence with women or just in general you’re not alone. Next time you walk down a busy street or through the mall take a look at most of the guys around. Whether they’re single or with a wife or girlfriend, they’re walking with their shoulders hunched forward, their eyes on the ground. They look broken. Why do you think confident guys stand out so much?
This brings us to the first point, to feel confident you need confident body language. Don’t be one of those broken guys, stand tall and make eye contact with the world around you. Go one step further even and smile. Serious, try just that the next time you leave the house and see how much better you feel straight up. I’m not talking about just smiling at hot women either, smile at everybody.
When I became conscious of this myself I really couldn’t believe the difference it made. All of a sudden people would smile at me first and often say hello. People smiling back at you makes you feel accepted and confidence grows.
Give yourself a head start and do everything you can to feel good before you go out. Pay attention to your appearance, new clothes maybe a haircut and some nice cologne. Feel good, look good and confidence grows some more.
Let go of the fear
One of the first things that will help remove any anxiety you might have around women is to remove their power. We give them power through our fear. Our fear of rejection, our fear of loneliness, our fear of not being worthy and the list goes on. See, there’s a common thread to our fears here and it’s that they’re fed by our egos.
To lose the ego let go of what you’re trying to gain. If you’re not trying to get anything you can’t be rejected.
Just like getting into a habit of smiling at people not because they’re an attractive woman but because they’re a fellow human being. Get into the habit of not expecting or wanting anything from your interactions with women.
If we put just these two points together and practise them what do we have? Oh yeah, a guy who looks confident, smiles at people, people are happy to start conversations with and he isn’t trying to manipulate or get anything from women. Go ahead try it, I dare you.
Now take this attitude and go to work, when you go out and about make it part of your ‘work’ to start at least 3 conversations a day. Again, it doesn’t have to be with hot chicks it can be with anybody. The girl behind the counter in your local coffee shop, an old lady in the queue at the grocery store or an old guy walking his dog. It doesn’t even need to be much of a conversation, you can just say ‘hey,’ ask for the time or ask directions. It doesn’t really matter; it’s about the process here.
What we’re really getting at is getting into the habit of being social to build confidence. And by practising it, it becomes easier all the time.